Transphobes Have One Goal. Only You Can Make Sure They Never Win.

Existence is resistance.

It’s been relatively quiet this week, which is somewhat refreshing. California is fighting back against Trump’s trans sports policy, but other than that, the Trump administration hasn’t said or done anything particularly transphobic. However, things haven’t gotten better either. Laws and policies banning gender-affirming care for minors, blocking birth certificate changes, prohibiting trans participation in sports, limiting insurance coverage for gender-affirming care, banning books with queer themes, and more are still in effect across the country.

From one day to another, each of these individual policies doesn’t have much of a noticeable effect. But over time, their combined stranglehold on the trans community starts to become more apparent. In moments like these, it’s important to remember that this is their goal. They believe being trans is a choice, and that by putting enough pressure on us, the imperfection we create in their idealised, conservative world will disappear. That’s what they want, and that’s how they win. Whether or not they get that is entirely up to us.

Some Fear Is Necessary

It hasn’t been easy to watch as our hard-fought victories have been eroded over the past four years. It’s been heartbreaking to see the general population become more transphobic. Some like to claim that this is a ‘natural reaction to the left going too far,’ but that’s far from the truth. Wanting basic rights and dignity can never be ‘going too far.’ Wanting to live in a world that doesn’t hate us for being ourselves can never be ‘going too far.’

The right’s response to the trans advances of the 2010s is nothing more than a page out of the same playbook that has been used time after time to combat minority rights. And it works because those in the majority are unable to empathise with the struggles that those in the minority face out of either genuine misunderstanding, willful ignorance, or downright malice. But it doesn’t work forever, and this rhetoric seems to have found the limit to how much it can influence public opinion in the United States.

Although transphobic talking points have been engineered to create fear among cis people, that fear pales in comparison to the effects these policies have had on the transgender community, and with good reason. These laws don’t serve to quell the fear the right has manufactured but to transfer that fear to us. And of course, some fear is necessary given that the Republican Party has been testing the limits of what’s possible in its crusade against transgender rights.

Fight or Flight

Being afraid doesn’t mean we’ve lost. While transphobes can create fear out of thin air, they can’t win on that alone. After all, our being afraid isn’t their goal; fear is simply a means to an end. However, that end—the eradication of trans people from public life—isn’t assured. In the face of their pressure, what we choose to do with our fear matters more than ever.

When presented with a situation such as this one, fight (such as transitioning in spite of this pressure) and flight (such as moving to a safer area) are both equally valid responses. As long as you get to live your life, they don’t win. That’s why they hope for the variants: freeze (to be paralysed by fear), flop (to surrender in advance), and fawn (to appease the fear). In all of these, they gain control over your actions. And that’s exactly what they want.

However, that outcome isn’t under their control. It belongs to us. We decide when we’re ready to surrender. We decide when we go away. Regardless of our responses, there is only one outcome: our continued existence. If all trans people go away today, new trans people will show up tomorrow. As a community, we can never be eliminated.

But they can beat all of us individually. Every one of us can drown in all this. I know fighting gets exhausting, but sometimes, it’s our only option. A day will come when fighting is no longer necessary, a day when we’re able to live our lives in peace; any attempts on their part to prevent that will ultimately be futile. These laws aren’t forever. The best way to survive is not to exist to spite them, but to exist despite them. To live your life as you see fit in a way that makes you happy. Survival is the greatest resistance of all, and when their attacks are powerless against our resolve, they can never win.